Ted (merovingian) wrote,

Classic Cake

I found this recipe in an old cooking magazine from the 1920s that I found at the laundromat early, early, early this morning. The whole thing was bleach-stained so I had to guess what some of the words were. Actually, all of them.

Classic Cake

Cake Toppings

Using a more honest and straightforward recipe, make a big square white cake and smear with frosting until there's so much frosting that you feel a little nauseous, then set plate on a table before you. Contemplate self until golden brown.

Ascribe to the cake all the traits that are your despised opposites. If you are honest, decorate it to make it seem deceptive. If you are a rebel, draw a big jingoistic flag on the cake. If you are an entrepeneur, draw a lazy ne'er-do-well face on that unambitious cake. If you are faithful, decorate the cake faithless. If you are rational, decorate the cake as ignorant.

Then switch places with the cake. You will be laying atop a table in front of a sitting person. Animate and attack that person who used to be you. Leap for the face and force your way inside the person's head, displacing the brain. Confused and amazed at the possibilities of a world with a walking body and a future beyond being eaten or thrown away, open the door and walk outside.

There, see a mastiff, who is confused because you look familiar but smell all wrong. Become that mastiff, and once again attack that person who was yourself twice before. Black out and fade away just as your sleek predator form topples the human. Wake up in a cold sweat to find yourself as yourself again. Be relieved that it was all a flight of fancy... or was it?

Serves one. But which one?

Originally posted to my new DreamWidth recipe journal. You can comment there using your LiveJournal ID and password, thanks to the spooky Internet magic of OpenID.

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