Ted (merovingian) wrote,

Roast Warbot

I got this recipe from a chef who swears he is from the future. He insists that he is giving us only the recipes that the human race needs to survive the next hundred years. Most of the other dishes are asparagus dishes, and I don't eat asparagus because I don't like it when my pee smells funny. So this is the recipe you get.

Roast Warbot

1 robot, war, fully functional, bristling with weapons, redolent of heartless violence, splendid in its destruction, leaving a wake of ashes and tears behind it

Hunt the robot, not with speed but with tenacity. Keep pursuing that robot, keep focused and flawless. That robot was planned by managers, not engineers, and those managers were trying to keep a schedule and release this robot on time, with as many features as possible, despite any bugs that might turn up. With enough time and load and capacity and whatnot, that robot will experience some form of fatal programming error, just during normal operation. Keep focused, I tell you. When that moment comes, that blue-screen-of-death or whatever the robot warrior equivalent is, you will be there ready to exploit that moment of weakness. You will be hungry and cunning and ready.

Then put the thing on a spit, one with a crankshaft that goes round and round, over a raging bonfire. Cook that robot until it is delicious. And believe me, it will be delicious.

Serves one tribe.

Originally posted to my new DreamWidth recipe journal. You can comment there using your LiveJournal ID and password, thanks to the spooky Internet magic of OpenID.

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