Ted (merovingian) wrote,

Stone Cold Soup

I think I got this recipe from my enemies, stolen by a defector who traded it to me in exchange for political asylum and a chance to start a new life here. But I have kept it on an index card in the back of my index file for a long time so I may be mistake.

Stone Cold Soup

Stone, medium, smooth, grey
Water, 500 mV

Place stone in pot of water. When an old woman glorious with peacock feathers comes along and asks you what you are making, tell her you are making soup, and when she says that she has just bought automobile parts ask her to toss them all into the pot as well for part of the soup. When a man with thick eyebrows who looks meaner than he has ever been comes along, and asks what you are making, tell him you are making soup, and when he tells you that he is bringing blankets to his great-nieces, ask him to toss those blankets into the pot as well for part of the soup. When two women walking arm in arm happen upon you and ask what you are making, tell her that you are making soup, and when the two tell you that they are carrying furniture to their new office, ask them to toss the furniture into the pot of soup as well to become part of the soup. Then cook soup at 300 degrees Fahrenheit (or 300 degrees Celsius, it really doesn't matter) until it is hot and delicious. Then cool in a refrigerator until it is no longer hot but still delicious. Also be a member of a species that can eat stones and automobile parts and blankets and office furniture.

Serves five.

Originally posted to my new DreamWidth recipe journal. You can comment there using your LiveJournal ID and password, thanks to the spooky Internet magic of OpenID.

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