Ted (merovingian) wrote,

The thing about plants is that you have to take care of them every day.

I'm really careful about this. Every day, I give my my plants massages, help update their resumes, play VCRs of old 30's musical romantic comedites for them, put on lipstick and foundation and sometimes rouge when the plants are feeling brash, quiz them about geography, check their email for them, talk with them frankly about drugs and about safe sex, introduce them to postal workers, try to convince my plants to go skiing next winter, work with them on composing haiku, wash them, make pizza with them, and cuddle.

Heck, I even water them once a week, on their sunlight day.

And yet, somehow, they keep dying.

Am I not cuddling them enough?

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