Didn't I have a say in this? I don't speak Danish, I hate sports, I'm clumsy, and I've got a happy life here in California.
He gave me a smile, and gestured to the charts.
It took me an hour to work through the calculus, but the results amounted to this: tracking my movements against news articles, the stastics showed that the closer to me a person was, the more likely that person would be to riot. Of course, there's about a thousand other people who fit that description worldwide. Thirty percent of them were already World Cup players, and the rest were being recruited, by any means necessary. Maybe it's a statistic anomaly, and it's bound to happen that some people will just happen to be closer to a few riots and make those results, like, the way that the World Series/Stock Market correlation just happens to go, but, nonetheless, there's the World Cup thing, and so they wanted me.
And, of course, I didn't have a say in this.
Now, two days later, I'm fast and athletic, speak the language fluently, and have all the naturalization papers.
And they bought me a donkey.
I guess it's a pretty good deal.