I was woken up by a married couple (both notable archaeologists, and, to the public eye, academic rivals), a former mobster in the witness protection program, a disbarred psychoanalyst whose opinions were too extreme, and a plucky pickpocket with a terrible secret.
I had been dreaming, and then I heard them chanting my name, "Iä! Iä Ted! Iä Iä!" They were attempting to bind me into my sleeping place.
I awoke and consumed them all.
That wasn't the most important thing that happened to me today.
The most important thing that happened were my terrible dreams, but if I tried to explain them to you, you'd die.