Ted (merovingian) wrote,
Ted
merovingian

Knowledge

I've often heard the question, "When will I ever need to know that?"

The answer, in some cases, is, "The morning of June 5, 2002."

I was walking to my car, when a man walked up to me, leading a heavily armored elephant.

"Hi," he said amiably, "This elephant is trained to kill, so don't try to run away."

"Okay," I said with cool, collected panic. "What do you want?"

"Here's the deal," said the elephant-leading maniac, "I'm going to ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, this elephant kills you."

"That doesn't seem fair," I complained, "You have no right."

"Well, try to get the answer, at least. If you do, then the whole moral question is rendered moot, right?"

I agreed hesitantly, reserving a right to further protest if it was a matter of life and death. The man asked, "What was Mickey Mantle's batting average in 1954?"

I stammered "Uh, 300." And I was right.

The man said, "Okay, you're safe. Now, to sweeten things up and end this on a pleasant note, I have a briefcase with a million dollars in cash here, and I'll give it to you, plus the elephant as a pet, if you can answer a second question."

I guessed and got it wrong. He didn't say what the right answer was. Maybe you can help me?

Two people are both appropriate candidates to be invited to a social gathering. These two individuals hate each other. Who is a horrible person?

Whichever person to whom you are less close
4(9.8%)
Whichever person is less popular
2(4.9%)
Whichever person is less likely to make peace
3(7.3%)
Whichever person causes more fuss about it
11(26.8%)
Whichever person causes less fuss about it
0(0.0%)
Whichever person told you their side of the story last
1(2.4%)
Whichever person is less physically attractive or wealthy
4(9.8%)
Whichever person is less nice to you
2(4.9%)
You, because there's no way to handle this gracefully, which makes you a bad person
14(34.1%)

Justify.

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