Ted (merovingian) wrote,


I've often heard the question, "When will I ever need to know that?"

The answer, in some cases, is, "The morning of June 5, 2002."

I was walking to my car, when a man walked up to me, leading a heavily armored elephant.

"Hi," he said amiably, "This elephant is trained to kill, so don't try to run away."

"Okay," I said with cool, collected panic. "What do you want?"

"Here's the deal," said the elephant-leading maniac, "I'm going to ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, this elephant kills you."

"That doesn't seem fair," I complained, "You have no right."

"Well, try to get the answer, at least. If you do, then the whole moral question is rendered moot, right?"

I agreed hesitantly, reserving a right to further protest if it was a matter of life and death. The man asked, "What was Mickey Mantle's batting average in 1954?"

I stammered "Uh, 300." And I was right.

The man said, "Okay, you're safe. Now, to sweeten things up and end this on a pleasant note, I have a briefcase with a million dollars in cash here, and I'll give it to you, plus the elephant as a pet, if you can answer a second question."

I guessed and got it wrong. He didn't say what the right answer was. Maybe you can help me?

Two people are both appropriate candidates to be invited to a social gathering. These two individuals hate each other. Who is a horrible person?

Whichever person to whom you are less close
Whichever person is less popular
Whichever person is less likely to make peace
Whichever person causes more fuss about it
Whichever person causes less fuss about it
Whichever person told you their side of the story last
Whichever person is less physically attractive or wealthy
Whichever person is less nice to you
You, because there's no way to handle this gracefully, which makes you a bad person



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