Ted (merovingian) wrote,

Middle School Memories

Last night got kind of wild. Michael Franti and I were going oxygen bar-hopping, cruising for molecules, when we got stopped in an alley by a gang.

At first I thought they were Quaker gangstaz, which would have been fine, but Michael pointed out that they were actually an Amish rumschpringes gang, which meant big trouble.

They surrounded me, and started saying "Ted!" "Ted!" They just kept at it, over and over again. After a while, they ran off.

This morning, I woke up to someone calling on the phone. I think they were calling for me, but it just didn't make sense. Later on in the morning, I was walking around a farmer's market when a friend tried to call me across the crowd and I didn't notice. Just now, when I got home, I tried to log in to several different mail clients, but somehow my user names were ineffective.

Ted. That was my name, but they wore it out.

I'm going to talk to a lawyer this afternoon to find out if I can press charges.

If a lawsuit won't work, what other actions could I take to wreak vengeance against those who carelessly wore out my name?

Should I go try to get my name replaced, or see if my worn-out name could be stitched up and repaired?

Ditch the old name. It's totally worn out.
Shop around and see if there's anything you like.
Go without a name for a while.
This is the multiple-choice option which will cook dinner for you.

If your name were maliciously worn out by dangerous youth on rumschpringes, what would do you?


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