Ted (merovingian) wrote,

There is a zombie behind you right now.

When people take dogs to the park, dogs get into fights. I always subconsciously expect people to cheer on their own dog. Not to attack the other owner, of course, but something. Perhaps, to have a steely glint to their eyes as they apologize. Or to assert, "I'm sorry about that, but, you know, my dog did have the frisbee first." Or even to shout at the other dog a bit too sternly.

It doesn't happen, but I'll tell you what does happen as expected. Some of you are too cosmopolitan to know it, but there's an intense Ford-Chevy rivalry in most of the U.S. It turns out that enmity carries over to the dispositions of the vehicles itself.

To make a long story short:
1. Some cars got angry.
2. Some cars got sapient, self-animated, and violent.
3. Some cars took the rivalry too far.
4. I now have to ride the bus.

I'm writing this from the bus. I just picked up one of the bus schedules.

As a side note, I really admire the restraint of the people who write the bus schedules, since they don't contain any annoying advertisements.

In any case, the bus schedule travels to my destination, but a few stops past my destination, the schedule starts to get a little funny. "University Avenue, 210 BCE," then "California Street, if you had gone to a small, friendly college," and then "El Camino Real, except that instead of humans there's walking reptiles," and "Central Expressway, in a world where world peace has been established, but the average human lifespan is only 35 years."

It represents a moral dilemma.

Poll #69663 Love, Truth or Courage?

Situation #1: You are walking your dog in a park and it gets into a fight with another dog. What do you do?

Smile at the other dog's owner as I separate them.
Cheer for my dog, and place bets.
Wonder how I got a dog.
Jump into the fight on my dog's side, expecting the other dog's owner to do the same.
Cheer for the other dog.
Something besides these options.

Situation #2: The Chevy-Ford rivalry has reached a point of civil war. Both Chevy drivers and Ford drivers claim full governmental powers in the United States. Which side do you take?

I would remain neutral (or choose another vehicle brand)as long as feasible, then pick the side most likely to win.
I would remain neutral (or choose another vehicle brand) even after one side has totalitarian control.
I caught the geeky reference in this quiz's title.

Situation #3: You are in the position of writing bus schedules. Do you include advertisements?


Situation #4: You are on a bus where the schedule implies the ability to travel to local streets, but in a different time or parallel reality. What would your reaction be?

Situation #5: Okay, I think we'd all just have a chuckle at such a schedule, and assume it was a weird joke. Do you have any good vegetarian recipes to share? If so, what's the dish? Please post full text in comments.

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