Or so I thought.
The last time we went waterskiing, I took the plunge and looked behind me. I was horrified.
The spray in the water behind me arced out into a beautiful, shimmering rainbow. The rainbow spelled out letters, which changed periodically:
"Some lousy, crappy pig"
"Not at all fabulous"
It turns out that every time that darn spider Charlotte said something nice about the pig, something nasty appeared in the rainbow text behind me. Thomas Fictionale had never mentioned it because he thought I was doing it on purpose.
But I guess it maintains a healthy balance in the world.