Ted (merovingian) wrote,
Ted
merovingian

My local mall is just on the curb of the road, with no parking lot. It's all parallel parking. But there's still plenty of space, because it's parallel universe parking.

I saw a spot in a very nearby parallel universe, one of those "Hitler stayed a painter, Buddy Holly lived, Fidel Castro made major league baseball, zeppelins, yadda yadda yadda" universes. The walk would have been less time, but I wasn't sure my car would be safe there. So I didn't park there.

So instead I parked in a "people use colors to communicate, equality of real numbers is not transitive, and stripes go with plaid" universe. The streets were well-cleaned, and there was a pleasant-looking parking sign on the curb, but I couldn't read it, of course.

I got what I needed (some zeppelin parts and a Fidel Castro baseball card) and headed back to find my car, but I couldn't remember where I parked, so I went wandering looking for my car.

The Dinosaur Dimension was ill-smelling but comfortable, and the Flatland universe was hard to breathe in. The One Big Hawaii dimension was nice, and I was tempted to just stay there, but I didn't have my car with me, so I kept going.

Then I happened across a parallel tinymammoth in a "Monkeys can talk, robots are common, and pirates peacefully negotiated the removal of all taxes and non-essential government functions in 1755" universe. She happily directed me back to the parallel universe where I'd parked my car.

Along the way, I noticed something that the various parallel universes had in common. tinymammoth was in all of them -- though, in the "tiny mammoths evolved sapience first" universe, her LJ username was "naked ape" -- and in all cases, she was super-awesome.
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